Say It Isn't So, Steve Kerr!

I know 95% of you probably don't care, but, man, sports are just not going well for me right now. First, Liverpool absolutelly, posilutely go in the tank. Then Billy Beane trades two of his three or four best players--Nick Swisher and Dan Haren--who are also locked up cheaply long term, for many, many prospects, who, combined, will probably never be as good as those two. Then the Pats miss out on the chance for 19-0 (Damn you, David Tyree!). And now, this monstrosity of a deal.

According to the report, the Suns will trade All-Star Shawn Marion for Shaq.

Say what?!?!?

I thought Steve Kerr was supposed to be smart.

Look, I've grudgingly come to accept that one of the most exciting teams in any sport ever would never achieve greatness because they had a cheap owner that forced them to sell first-round pick after first-round pick and give away expensive players--because they were cash-strapped the Suns essentially traded the same players to Seattle for a 2nd round pick that LA just traded to Memphis for Pau freaking Gasol. But this isn't even that. Shaq is more expensive, and signed for longer than Marion. WTF?!?!?

This is like trading Ocean's Eleven for Godfather 3. Ocean's Eleven may not be an all-tiime great, but, for what it is, it's fantastic and worth every second. Godfather 3 used be one of the best ever, but has now gotten old and bloated and only interested in a paycheck. And sucks (I should probably note I've never seen Godfather 3 but I'm just assuming everything I've heard is accurate).

Shaq is still okay on offense on the very rare occasions when he's healthy, but he sucks defensively, and he's the worst possible fit for the up and down Pheonix offense. At this point, he gets winded (and tears his achilles) just from lying down and being felated.

The Suns have as good a shot as anyone at getting out of the West as currently constituted. With Shaq and without Marion, they're, in a word, fucked.

What. The. Fuck.

(I honestly have no idea who to tag. Do any of my friends care about basketball? Well, maybe the McMahons...)